Pride

                If I had to be completely honest with myself, I’d first admit that I don’t know what I’m doing or what I’m talking about half the time – maybe even more than that. But putting on a brave face and pretending that the result I get is the one I intended to get is so much easier than admitting I was wrong or worse – someone else was right. Looking like an idiot is mortifying for me. More so than for others because I’d do anything to make my mistakes look intentional.

                I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. But I also know that not many of the people I associate with do. Pride is what it is, when you get down to the skeleton of the problem. It’s the strongest vice… and the hardest to fight. It doesn’t surface in the way that the other seven deadly sins do and it can’t be dealt with in the same way either. Something as simple as a pat on the back can plant the seed. And a simple word or criticism can pierce the chest that you puffed up without realizing it.

                These days, people refer to pride as an ‘ego’. The larger it is, the more conceited the person is. But that’s not the only way it is shown. In my case, being wrong is not an option. Control is my goal – over self and over others. And those are only the ones I’m aware of. I have no doubt that there are a million other ways that pride can dig its claws into our hearts.

                Once it’s anchored, it’s there to stay – at least, as long as you let it stay. Once you start fighting back and gain humility you realize that it’s not so bad being wrong. And that being made fun of and acting like an idiot can be good for you. Well… maybe that advice isn’t for everyone, but it’s true enough for me.

                “Pride comes before the fall.”

                I’m not done climbing. . . and I’m definitely not ready to fall.