*DNR* [I'm Lost...]

Their tears are bitter
Their sorrow shallow
I can't understand their pain
Still I feel as though it is my own.

You left 'too soon' they said
They thought you would stay for their sakes
I knew better, I knew long ago
It was your time to go... simply put.

Their tears are bitter
Yours have dried
Mine have yet to fall.

Mechanical heartbeat
Rusty, shaking breath
I feel as much as you do now
Or maybe you feel more...?

Their tears are drying
My heart is bitter
And you have yet to leave.


*DNR ~ Do Not Resuscitate.

I actually wrote this a few weeks ago. I got home late because I had practice after school and my mother called me to say that something had happened at home. My grandmother had been taken to the hospital by an ambulance because she had collapsed. The paramedics on the scene had told my grandfather that she was dead but later that evening we were told that she was in a coma and brain-dead. She died a few days later...

Earlier that day I had written a song and a poem and I was starting to come out of my literary slump - but since then, this is the only thing I've written... even though we weren't close I feel as though I've lost something... maybe the will to write, or continue living - it's something I'm still trying to work through. 

Something that not many people understand about my writing - I'll make the stretch to call it 'art' - is that it means everything to me, being that it's the only place that I feel comfortable enough to say what I'm feeling without caring about judgments. Without it... I'm lost.